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Minggu, 15 Januari 2012

Making Peace With Your Past

Are you haunted by something that happened in your past? It could be someone offended you or you made a decision that you regret. To face this problem, I’ll share here an article that written by the famous Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil said that forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's happened. Rather, it means that you're giving yourself permission to move on with your life.
  • Forgiveness is a choice. Don't wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.

  • Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is unavoidable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who offended you.

  • Don't cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an external sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you.

  • There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, "I'm letting this go. I'm not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore." You can find closure in forgiveness.

  • Consider what you need to do to get emotional closure. Maybe you just need a simple apology. Find your minimal effective response — the easiest thing you can do to resolve your pain.
  • You can't change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn't receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now.
  • Listen to your internal dialogue. What are you saying to yourself? Write them down without censoring them. Is what you're saying fair and true? If not, generate new ways of thinking. Someone may have said horrible things to you long ago, but it's possible you took over for them when it stopped.
  • Share your experience with others. Finding a lesson in what happened can help put the experience in perspective and your emotions in check. People can thrive and suffer at the same time.
    Source: http://www.womenandperspectives.com/2010/05/making-peace-with-your-past.html
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Tears Behind My Eyes




When you look into my eyes they may seem to be empty,
My eyes are full of tears, although you don't see any.

So many times my heart has been filled with pain,
And deep behind my eyes are pockets of tears that are ready to fall like rain.


I know at times I may appear to be tough,
but sometimes to bear the pain and heartache can be too much.


Sometimes I try and hide the tears that I cried just last night,
Tears that soaked my pillow wet long past mornings first light.


I know how it feels to be pushed away by someone you love,
I'm not afraid to admit my tears because I know that there's a far greater love, one that comes from above.


Happiness too will be mine, so until then I'll keep my my head up and eyes towards the skies,
And never allowing anyone to see the tears hidden behind my eyes.


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